Counting Chickens while Smelling Roses

She... was a pair of rose colored glasses.

And I consider myself fortunate to get to wear her for a time.

When I put her on, the colors and images were brilliant but I could eventually see the surface of each lens and the wear and tear they've been subjected to. There was one small, almost unnoticeable crack in the corner. A dark crack that I became fearful would catch dirt periodically, or worse, spread like a spiders web, threatening all that I see.

So I struggled with my fears and looked past the crack, and the images I saw were startling.  Brilliant colorful tattoos, a beautiful, photogenic smile, a sweet inevitable "whoop" forever preserved within the annals of recorded YouTube history.

Within the bright flash of reflected light is a happy glimpse of both Daniel and Angela, each in their own lens, smiling, vibrant and full of life. Each with their own heart affecting struggles and each a beautiful result of determined and vigilant parenting.

Brilliant parallels between a daughter and her father. A unbreakable bond steeped in unconditional love and appreciation for each other. A relationship where patience, love,
logic and reasoning were oft practiced. Ironic when compared to the darkly frayed relationship between mother and daughter dwarfed by a history rich in tragedy and sorrow. In the background lies another, distant family headed by her brother with whom a complicated, sometimes volatile bond hangs on for dear life.

Other, unapologetic samples of past relationships litter the landscape. Failed way points with seemingly important life and love lessons rationalized from each like a pillaged carcass. The story of each told with no small excitement to recount her "been there, done thats"; she was her greatest historian. More than a few times that dark crack became noticeable, exposing the ugly truth of my jealousy of ghosts with no more claim to her present than I held over her future.

With this flaw present in my character, I began to write checks with my intentions that my heart eventually couldn't cash.  My rose colored glasses became clouded with doubt and ballooning insecurities borne from my own complicated past.  I dwelled on what seemed all the right things and procrastinated on the most important thing (communication). With no progress to be enjoyed, before I knew it I got good at spinning doom, living on an unhealthy diet of assumptions (all negative) and torturing myself with ridiculously realistic nightmares of my unworthiness.

It wasn't all gloom and doom. There were insanely fun and happy times which is what made the need to separate from a such a torturous "union" such a desparate and essential bid for self preservation. With the distance of time, an accepted engagement to another and..., well... the distance from her moving, I can honestly scratch my head at the impossibility of pin pointing any one single element as the driving force behind our misfortunate end.

But I can also be happy, glad & greatful for knowing her.

And down the road I go.

Two out of three is WONDERFUL!

Dear Reader. It's October, 2012 and how I have missed you!! (Sarcasm, there is no reader, self amusement evident, I hope).  I have two out of three fortunate finds this lovely Fall!  Certainly not in order of importance, I'll get the negative one outta the way first.

My internet service provider sucks the raw insides out of an oyster, sucks the butt out of a cat with a Tim Allen manufactured industrial high powered (double meaning intended) vacuum, sucks the fun out of a party, just all that and a bag of stale chips kind of sucking.  The said service is provided by Clear.com.  It used to work (I swear) much more frequently but for months, maybe close to a year now I have suffered continual failure of service and paralyzing helpless from their support "team", termed loosely on purpose.

Having said that, Comcast has approached me a 2nd time and have offered to pay $2,500 of the $2,734.00 initial installation fee necessary to provide my place of resident Business Class service, leaving me with an initial bill of $234.00 for construction and then a monthly bill of $131 after that... Hmmm... can't quite convince myself to unass the money, so to speak and yet I concur that my current ISP sucks... well, we covered that, didn't we?

So, with that unsolved mystery out of the way, I need to quickly pour my love for the 1st revelation discovered during this beautiful fall season!  The Avengers movie!  Never has a comic movie please me more with its choice of eye popping characters and actors, it depth of story and ability to keep every character involved even if on rotation and finally the SPOILER ALERT (you've been warned) incredibly pleasing faithfulness to the continuity of story lines long ago fleshed out within the pages of the comic from which this very satisfying theatrical achievement is adapted. It is so nice to see them honor decades old continuity, especially since it still rings true today.

Subtle scenes like the slow spread smile on Thor's face post bitch slap by a rampaging Hulk, the back and forth aggression crackling alive between various pairs Cap and Tony, Fury and Thor, Loki and Natasha, etc., the Hulk's sort of super hero approved opportunity to let loose and "smash" as Captain America orders him and Tony Stark's burgeoning ego that is not only prevalent throughout the romp, consistently and enjoyably challenged.  The movie makes me hope for a DC infused Justice League of the same caliber.  The Batman has been dramatically justified under Christopher Nolan's direction in my humble opinion.  Superman looks to be getting the same treatment following what I thought was an enjoyable performance directed by Bryan Singer and embodied by Brandon Routh, only after reading some reviews I have to agree it is Salkinds/Donner's version redux.  Still enjoyable though.

So how could I possibly follow up a thinly veiled attempt at a movie review of an exciting and spectacular movie?  Well, it is Fall, and people tend to fall in love.  I had someone last fall who I thought I could bring myself to love on the caliber necessary to perpetuate a union.  That did not happen.  And heading into the fall of 2012 I was sure to revisit my favorite Fall in love pastime with Warcraft 2.  Well, I am not professing having fallen in love (for I feel those are strong and commitment infused words) but I certainly feel head over heels for a woman!  Not just a woman, not just a mom, a special, sassy, classy and zazzy lady!!  Someone who's worldly wit and an attractive charm that can only be tempered from years of parenthood smithing.

Her name is  Lesley Reed Medina and I am quite the smitten kitten for her.  When we first began messaging back and forth, it was simple, courteous greetings, salutation, daily blessings and an initial trading of simple yet helpful in painting the background of our lives for the other to see, factoids.  What eventually took place after we became more comfortable with our knowledge of each others lives, works, daily routines, hobbies, dreams and desires was a developing bridge from both sides toward a common ground.  We expressed ideas, our wishes to be better people, how hard we work, how hard she has and continues to work to be the wonderful parent she is to her daughter and son, etc.

She has shown me so many things.  One sharply beloved enjoyment is Blue October, a local band that has achieved a huge and devoted following.  My favorite work being "She's My Ride Home", an amusing and hypnotic stab at quintessential lovers as murderers.  It is hauntingly beautiful.  Of course I've always loved tattoos and have long flirted with vetoing my distaste for needles in exchange for some ink and she is practically covered! Beautiful and Gorgeous are often words I share with her and they cannot begin to aptly describe the work she's commissioned.

Right now I couldn't be happier.  For once, I'm hoping Murphy's Law keeps his hands off.