Fatso's Challenge/Introduction

I must admit that I'm mildly impressed. Fatso Rodriguez,... has his own Blog site!

Wow! Simply stimulating.

To those who know me, I'm going to maintain a different "online" air than you're used to. Instead of being the "meek, good-hearted, always bending backwards to be kind to others" kinda fellah you know and love, I'm going to endeavor to be brash, bold, boisterous,...

I'm going to go get my thesaurus... hold on a sec...

I'm going to be arrogant! I'm going to let loose! I'm going to unleash on this world the heavy woe's that weigh on my heart, that for lack of an outlet, oftentime make it difficult to breathe. (Yes, let's call them woe's instead of cholesterol). I'm gonna start by blasting a "so called" friend of mine! I'm gonna call out a fellah named "the Machine" to the floor for some much needed ear lashing!!

But before I call him out, I guess I ought to explain myself to anybody NEW to the FAT one.

My name is Mike Murphy and as the laws normally affiliated to my last name dictate, I used to lead a very crappy life. Oh, trust me, I know it's not crappy by a long shot in comparison to some others out there. Take me with a grain of salt. I am one sarcastic critter and three quarters of what I say isn't really steeped in seriousness. As I said, I USED TA lead a crappy life. I now find myself in great spirits!

To know me is to understand me. As much as Kevin Smith admits to being a press whore, I admit that I am his B!tch. I like all things Silent Bob, directed, produced &/or starred in. I collect comics (a Kevin Smith connection, obviously). I'm a big Garth Ennis fan. I'm incredibly sad to see Strangers in Paradise end (by fellow Houstonian Terry Moore). I lift weights (my own, 200+ pounds every morning, baybee!) I'm owned by a cat named Bouncer. I have over 500 plus dvd's and music cd's. I love wrestling. The entertainment, the story that is told, the comedy, the righteous anger and the long deserved, finally delivered justice. I loved wrestling when Paul Bosch ran Houston Wrestling and the UWF reigned supreme. When Ted Dibiase had a black bag and one of his enemies constantly pronounced his last name "Dah-Buse-Cee!"

And that brings me to the curious sideshow freak named Fatso Rodriguez. Y'see, Fatso was born 23 years ago during a wrestling match on a mattress off Old Creek Road. He was the result of watching wrestling performers like Ted Dibiase, Terry Taylor, The One Man Gang, The Missing Link, The Fabulous Freebirds, Dusty Rhodes and many others. Fatso's characteristics were direct rip offs of wrestling personalities like"Macho Man" Randy Savage, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and the aforementioned Ted Dibiase.

This alter ego was refined later on when ECW elevated the city of Philadelphia to the nation's eyes. When Terry Funk, middle aged and crazy showed me that I too could have hope in doing something that I loved even at the tender age of 60. Well, forgive me, I was 12 when I considered 60 a "tender" age. I was further refined when I saw Cactus Jack become a fiercesome, hardcore competitor AND a mesmerizing, mystifying force to be heard on a microphone.

Fatso Rodriguez began his professional career by taking the Houston, Texas chapter of B.Y.W.A. (BackYard Wrestling Association) by storm. He later joined the PMWA (Poor Man's Wrestling Association) (which later changed it's name to just PMW) and after an exhausting number of interupted interviews, he bested three competitors for the PMW Heavyweight Championship Belt (ironically, the belt was very light at the time). He has had numerous bouts with his sometime companion/friend/tag team partner and oftentime arch-nemesis Ground Zero who once was known as the Machine, who later went back to being the Machine. Speculation suggests that Fatso Rodriguez so thoroughly embarrassed Ground Zero in competition that he went back to being the Machine to avoid public ridicule. Fatso has also had matches with Goz (the heavy version) and the rabid Wolv... er Weapon. Lately, for lack of a wrestling ring to oppose the cold, hard earth, Fatso has been cooling his heels.

Bottom line, life is treating me good. But if anyone will take a moment to agree with me on this, life without purpose is no life at all. That is to say, we all have goals. Something to chase, something to dream about. Something that drives us, wakes us up in the morning and spurs us on even when depression and all of her symptoms like sleep, sloth and gluttony seem desirable.

And I have to say that there is one thing missing in my life. Something I wish I could share my domicile with. Something I wish to be wrapped around me, proudly proclaiming me the better man that I am. Better than YOU, Machine!

That something that I'm missing is Championship Gol,... er... Sheet Metal!

And since you don't have it, I don't know WHY I'm wasting my time with you! But I make this challenge! If you can find the belt I speak of, I will make you worthy of having it. Or I'll take it away from you and leave you (to rip a phrase) in the middle of the ring, bleeding and crying for yer mamma to massage yer feet!!

What say you?